Humorous jokes about gym fitness

All the funny jokes that can be circulated in the fitness circle are essentially the mismatch between the "preset perfect fitness plan" and the "actual physical performance of lifting the hips" of ordinary fitness people. In addition, there is a sense of contrast caused by the cognitive barriers between different fitness schools. None of them are made up. They are all live highlights of social death.

To be honest, I have been in the gym for three years, and I have seen more social death scenes than I have practiced in groups. Last week, I met a little girl wearing a new set of fitness clothes. She squatted for two and a half sets in front of the Smith frame and took photos of concave shapes in the mirror for twenty minutes. Before she left, she went to the front desk to weigh herself. She screamed that she had gained two pounds. The old man who was drinking protein powder next to him choked and rubbed his chest. He turned to complain to us, "That girl just came in with half a cup of pearl milk tea, and it was still exposed in her bag." Isn't it normal for the weight to increase while wearing half a protein bar? "What about the sensitivity of this scale?" Of course, the little girl also had her own reasons. When she turned to speak to her best friend, I heard a sentence: "I don't care, I have been doing squats today. The increase in weight must be due to drinking too much water, and it is definitely not because I haven't practiced well." The logic of both sides is self-consistent, and no one can convince anyone.

Don’t believe that people who work out have perfected their legs when going up and down stairs. In all likelihood, they were able to do it by squatting with too much weight last week until their quadriceps cramped, and then pretending to be okay. The last time I did it, after squatting 120 kilograms, my legs were as soft as stepping on cotton. I went to the convenience store downstairs to buy iced Coke. As soon as I walked in, I bent my legs and knelt down to the cashier guy. The guy was so scared that he hurriedly tried to help me. I gritted my teeth and said it was okay, just to practice my legs. The guy suppressed his laughter until his shoulders were shaking. Later, every time I went to buy water, he took the initiative to ask, "I'm doing leg training again today? Do you want me to get a stool for you to sit on?" After this matter spread in our group, the hardcore powerlifters said it was nothing. He sat in the equipment area for half an hour after squatting 200 kilograms last time. The cleaning lady thought he fainted and almost hit 120. This is the normal operation of leg training. After hearing this, the Buddhist fitness fans rolled their eyes and asked, are you sick? Why do you need to train your legs so hard? I come to the gym just to watch TV dramas on the elliptical machine. It is impossible to train my legs.

Oh, by the way, there is also a joke about applying for a card. It is really an old joke but it is funny every time I hear it. My colleague enthusiastically applied for an annual card last month. He patted his chest and promised to go at least five times a week and develop his vest line in three months. Now half a year has passed and the card has been swiped three times, twice to take a shower and once to stop by to get a free protein bar. On the contrary, the gym owner is open-minded. Last time we chatted, he said that the profit of his store depends on the people who can't get the card. Otherwise, it would have been closed down long ago if it relied on us regulars who come every day to collect bath water and get free electrolyte water. My coach also added some money, saying that he had added 20 new members on WeChat last month, and now there are only three people actively seeking help from him. Two asked if they could transfer their cards, and one asked what the password for the gym’s wifi was.

Last time, there was an older brother who was practicing lat pulldowns. He didn’t know how to find the force. His whole upper body was swinging back and forth with the pull-up bar, and his face turned red as if he was trying to pull the bar down to sell scrap metal. The coach really couldn’t bear it and went to give instructions. The older brother didn’t even look back and said, "I’m fine. I’m just doing core training. You don’t understand." Everyone has different opinions on this matter. The Yeluzi fitness party can do whatever they feel comfortable with, as long as they can sweat, and use standard movements; coaches with a professional background said that if the movements are wrong and you get injured, you will have to suffer, and there is really no need to hold on; there are also a few who have been following short video bloggers for two months. They came over and whispered, I saw that this is how online bloggers practice, why is it wrong? No one was convinced, but in the end the eldest brother still pulled the lever for ten minutes in his own way. When he left, his shoulders were so sore that he couldn't lift it up, so the girl at the front desk helped him get hot water.

Actually, to put it bluntly, you don’t have to get any ranking in the competition when you go to the gym. It’s better to be able to practice some tricks than to get injured, right? Anyway, every time I can’t practice anymore, I raise my head and scan around the equipment area. There is a high probability that I will encounter something interesting, which is more refreshing than drinking a nitrogen pump.